you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
