i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
