Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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