I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
