im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
