okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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