Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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