How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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