I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
