New invention idea: vibrating tampons
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
im calling her cock vulture from now on
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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