i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He has the fingertips of a God
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
