I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize