I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
