Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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