In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
