I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
