p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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