I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
