they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
