I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
