I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
