Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
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Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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