after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
