I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Congratulations! We have a period
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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