Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
