i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
