OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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