No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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