Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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