people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
