It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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