Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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