At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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