Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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