I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
