my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
