Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
