D3 body, D1 cock
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
