He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
