is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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