I just made out with a guy for $7.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
