Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize