I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
