and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
