Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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