oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
