How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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