Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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