Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
