i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
