the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
