Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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