They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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