Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
