I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
