I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
