peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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