Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Randomize
