so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
