My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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