It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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