Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
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